W3 Superstars

[todd]

W3 SUPERSTARS

Phineas Phatback stands in the ring and announces some last minute changes to the upcoming pay per view Three‘s A Crowd. The ladies title match between Thunderball, Artemis Jubblies, and Champion Mona Mammeries originally planned as triple threat match is now a three way dance. The 2/3 falls Ultimate Title match between Flex Manley and Frankenpuss has an added stipulation making it an federation exile match with the losing wrestler exiled from the W3 for a period of 60 days. I can understand Phineas Phatback wanting to build up excitement and increase the pay per buys but taking of the top two W3 superstars out of the picture for an extended period of time seems really silly to me.


- Johnny Satan and ALX put on a great main event match with Satan drawing the disqualification on account of interference on the part of Suzy Succubus. Gramma Granny and Buddy Hotpants come to the rescue of ALX during a post match brawl which leads us to the final match for Three’s A Crowd. The Devil’s Triangle ( Johnny Satan, Suzy Succubus, and Lil Torquemada) vs. The Legends (ALX, Buddy Hotpants, and Gramma Granny)

OTHER STUFF

-The Hell’s Mongol Sturgis Khan makes his W3 debut by burying Amish Robot. After pounding The Mechanical Mennonite with Mongolian Chops and boot stomps Khan gives Amish Robot a beating outside the ring and finishes the job with THE PILLAGER (Garvin Stomp)
Winner - Sturgis Khan via THE PILLAGER in 4:30 *
This match may have lasted over four minutes but it was essentially over after two. Sturgis Khan seems like the type who doesn’t care as much about winning as he does about beating people up

- The last Diva challenge match before Three’s A Crowd is
Rhinestone Cowgirl & Wild Thang (Team Sayanora) vs. Kween Squaitifah Cookiepuss & Beulah Gorillacutty (Team Cookiepuss). Wild Thang and Cookiepuss start things off with Wild Thang controlling the action and getting one near fall with a double DDT. Rhinestone Cowgirl gets tagged in a short time later and wraps up things quickly with UDDER DEVASTATION
Winners Rhinestone Cowgirl and Wild Thang (Team Sayanora) **

Diva Challenge Standings
Team Sayonara - 2
Team Cookiepuss - 1

The Diva challenge is still anyone’s game. Both teams are equal in tag team matches 1-1 with one double disqualification. Rhinestone Cowgirl looks like the most dominant of the eight so far and could be the deciding factor in the Diva Challenge.

- Thundermug and Johnny Gizmo face off in the third and final qualifying match for the beta max triple threat match. This match is the best one of the three by far with non stop back and forth action from start to finish. Thundermug comes out on top at with a Viking spike followed by a brutal belly buster at the 8 minute mark and advances to face Mini Moto and Cosmic Ray for the Beta Max Championship at Three’s A Crowd
Winner Thundermug via belly buster in 18:00 ***1/2
These are two of the best workers in the W3 and either one of them would have been great to see in the triple threat match. I expect to see these wo going at it again soon

Quick Results
Sturgis Khan def Amish Robot*
Wild Thang and Rhinestone Cowgirl def Cookiepuss and Beulah Gorillacutty ** (Diva Challenge)
Thundermug def Johnny Gizmo (Beta Max Qualifying Match)
ALX def Johnny Satan by disqualification ***

W3 Presents
THREE’S A CROWD

Diva Challenge Elimination Tag Team Match
Team Cookiepuss
Kween Squatifah CookiePuss, Fifi Cheveaux Aissle, and Beulah Gorillacutty
VS
Team Sayanora
Haiku Sayanora, Wild Thang, Gumslinger

Triple Threat Match For Beta Max Title
Mini Moto vs. Cosmic Ray vs. Johnny Gizmo

3 Way Dance For W3 Ladies Title
Thunderball vs. Artemis Jubblies vs. Mona Mammeries

3 vs. 3 Mixed Tag Team Match
The Legends (ALX, Buddy Hotpants and Granny) vs. Devil’s Triangle
( Johnny Satan, Suzy Succubus, And Lil Torquemada)

2/3 falls Ultimate Title Exile Match
Frankenpuss W/ Doctor Mutato vs. Flex Manley

[todd]

W3 Presents
THREE'S A CROWD
Sponsored by Roided Up Savage T Energy Bars

Dark Matches

Tortalis The Tournament Tortoise def Mar Far Jinx with a FLYING SHELL SENTON
Inbred Red The Hillbilly Hammer defeated The Oak Ridge Monster with a BIG BAHR HUG

Diva Challenge Elimination Tag Team Match
Team Cookiepuss
Kween Squatifah CookiePuss, Fifi Cheveaux Aissle, and Beulah Gorillacutty
VS
Team Sayanora
Haiku Sayanora, Wild Thang, Gumslinger

Team Captain Haiku Sayanora and Beulah Gorillacutty kick off the action. Haiku Sayanora looks like she’s on her game reversing a leg drop and dodging a running shoulder block. Gorillacutty delivers a Gorilla cutter out of nowhere and follows up quickly with a second rope dropkick and cover but only gets a one and a half count. Following the pin attempt the action spills outside the ring where Beulah Gorillacutty is disqualified for whipping Sayanora into the ring post. Gumslinger comes in for Sayanora and Fifi replaces the eliminated Gorillacutty. Gumslinger unloads with a series of high flying and exciting moves while Fifi does her best to defend herself and avoid elimination. Gumslinger makes the tag to Wild Thang who instead of finishing off Fifi ends up submitting to a FLEUR-DE-L’AISSELLE ( armpit to the face)

The two team captains ( Cookiepuss and Haiku Sayanora) square off next.
Haiku gets two quick pin attempts with a karate chops and a spinning heel kick but cant get the job done . Cookiepuss lands a low blow and follows up with a COOKIE DUSTER ( sever spread with a leg drop) for the elimination. Gumslinger faces a two on one disadvantage but evens the odds by taking out Fifi with an LA cloverleaf. Kween Squatifah Cookiepuss and Gumslinger put on a good finale to this match with lots of action and several pin attempts. The end coming when Gumslinger misses with her BUBBLE GUM POP finisher leaving the entire front row covered in the sticky substance and Cookiepuss landing surprise groin kick and DDT for the win.

Winners Team Cookiepuss via groin kick and DDT in 11:42 **1/2

Triple Threat Match For Beta Max Title
Mini Moto vs. Cosmic Ray vs. Johnny Gizmo

Cosmic Ray wrenches Mini Moto in a headlock and goes for a fist drop but Moto rolls out of the way… Moto counters with a thrust kick to the chest… Thundermug nails Moto with a Viking spike and clobbers him down with a Mugshot… Thundermug makes the cover..1..2.. Moto kicks out. Thundermug throws Cosmic Ray to the ropes...Cosmic Ray rebounds with a sleeper hold on Thundermug…Cosmic Ray takes the Beta Max Championship !

Winner Cosmic Ray with HIT THE ROPES JACK in 2:44 **

3 Way Dance For W3 Ladies Title
Thunderball vs. Artemis Jubblies vs Mona Mammeries

Thunderball reverses a rollover neck snap from Mona Mammeries with an overhead slam…knee strikes…reversal…Mona sends Thunderball reeling with a very high kick…sitdown power bomb and cover by Mona Mammeries…1...2...Artemis Jubblies makes the save…Jubblies hits Mona with choke lift and slam…Thunderball follows up with a decapitator on Mona…Artemis tosses Mona from the ring and side walk slams Thunderball…1...2...3...Thunderball is out…Mona throws Jubblies to the turnbuckle…reversal…running forearm smash to Mona…Military press slam and a cover by Jubblies…1...2...Mona kicks out…vertical suplex by Jubblies…reversal by Mona….over the shoulder boulder hold…Mona covers…1...2...Jubblies kicks out…fireman carry face drop by Mona…reversal by Jubblies….Mona goes down with corner punches….OLYMPIA FULL NELSON…Mona taps…The Goddess Of Wrestling is the new W3 Ladies Champion !

Winner Artemis Jubblies via Olympia Full Nelson in 14:02 ***1/2

3 vs. 3 Mixed Tag Team Match
The Legends (ALX, Buddy Hotpants and Granny) vs. Devil’s Triangle
( Johnny Satan, Suzy Succubus, And Lil Torquemada)

The match starts off with Torquemada taking quite a beating at the hands of the legend Abraham Lincoln X. ALX delivers an incredible Lincoln log splitter before tagging in Buddy Hotpants who continues to pound on Torquemada. Hotpants tosses Torquemada over the top rope and leaves the ring in hot pursuit but gets jumped from behind by Torquemada’s tag team partners Johnny Satan and Suzy Succubus. ALX and Gamma Granny come to the rescue and we see a big brawl outside of the ring area. When the dust settles Johnny Satan ( although not the legal man) is punishing Hotpants inside the ring with a tree woe of choke. Despite being forced to break the hold Satan continues to dominate his opponent with brimstone bashes and a vile driver. Hotpants reaches out and makes a blind tag to Gramma Granny. Granny rubs her hands together and points at Satan. Satan smiles and motions for Granny to step inside the ring. Referee Millie Swimsuit orders Johnny Satan out of the ring and Suzy Succubus steps in as his replacement. Succubus goes after Granny full force getting four pin attempts with an impaler DDT, double leg drop and 2 Succubusters. Granny makes the hot tag to ALX who comes in to face Johnny Satan and wraps things up with EMANCIPATION DEVASTATION.

Winners ALX, Buddy Hotpants, and Gamma Granny def via EMANCIPATION DEVASTATION in 15:29 ***

2/3 Falls Exile Match For The Ultimate Title
Frankenpuss W/ Doctor Mutato vs. Flex Manley W/ Mona Mammeries

The match kicks off with some back and forth action. After shrugging off a big meaty fist Frankenpuss gets the first pin attempt of the match with a gorilla press backbreaker But Manley kicks out at the count of one. Frankenpuss works over Manley outside the ring on and off for the next few minutes and then applies a trapped arms bear hug which Manley manages to power out of. Manley comes back to win fall number one with a flying forearm followed by FLEX APPEAL.
After a few minutes rest time the match gets under way again. Frankenpuss gets fall number two pretty quickly after wearing down W3 Champion Flex Manley with a variety of moves including atomic whips, corner shoulder blocks, and axe handle drops.
The anticipation builds for the last portion of the match with Manley and Frankenpuss tied at one fall piece. Manley seems reenergized as he nearly takes off the head of the Kitty Cat Golem with a big biceps clothesline and follows up with a Flex Plex. The end seems near when Manley locks Frankenpuss in his version of the trapped arms bear hug called THE MAN HUG. Frankenpuss head butts and powers his way out of the hold. Frankenpuss comes back with a giant swing and on cue from manager Doctor Mutato throws Manley to the ropes. As Manley hits the ropes Doctor Mutato attempts to toss some chemicals in Manley’s face but misses and hits referee Jack Schlappe instead. Narrowly avoiding the chemical burn Manley comes off the ropes with a big clothesline and a cover but Schlappe is incapacitated. Frankenpuss gets the upper hand by body stomping Manley from behind as he’s checking on the ref and goes on to get the three count from new referee Millie Swimsuit following a pump handle over the shoulder bomb

Winner Frankenpuss via pump handle over the shoulder power bomb in 17:50 ***

Quick Results
Kween Squatifah CookiePuss, Fifi Cheveaux Aissle, and Beulah Gorillacutty def Haiku Sayanora, Wild Thang, and Gumslinger **1/2
Cosmic Ray def Thundermug and Mini Moto **
Artemis Jubblies def Mona Mammeries and Thunderball ***1/2
ALX, Buddy Hotpants, and Gramma Granny def Johnny Satan, Suzy Succubus, and Lil Torquemada ***
Frankenpuss def Flex Manley ***

[jasonjaconetti]

New champions abound! But Flex is exiled?! Say it ain't so!

[wildfire]

Maybe we'll see ROBO Flex!

[jasonjaconetti]

Apr 20, 2011 13:58:20 GMT -4 wildfire said:

Maybe we'll see ROBO Flex!

We could....but I would hope a "Masked Avenger" would show up to set things right

[todd]

I had an idea for Robo Flex but decided it was too silly even for this fed.

[jasonjaconetti]

Apr 20, 2011 20:49:41 GMT -4 todd said:

I had an idea for Robo Flex but decided it was too silly even for this fed.

Well, that is saying something!

[todd]

W3 REPORT

Starting off with a review of the this month’s pay per view Three’s A Crowd.

We saw three new faces in the 2 opening dark matches Tortalis The Tournament Tortoise, The Hillbilly Hammer Inbred Red , and Mar Far Jinx. All three looked decent and I think we’ll be more of them soon enough. The Diva Challenge elimination match was pretty average nothing special. I wasn’t surprised to see Team Cookiepuss win because it keeps things close and prevents Team Sayanora from running away in the points standings. The match I was looking forward to the least The Beta Max Triple threat was up next. I didn’t think the three qualifiers (Mini Moto, Thundermug, and Cosmic Ray) matched up well against each other at all and the time of 2:44 seemed too short for a pay per view match. I like Cosmic Ray and it was cool to see him win the Beta Max Championship but I think the W3 is pushing him too hard too quickly. The W3 would have been better off putting the belt on Thundermug in my opinion.
The Triple Threat match for the W3 ladies title was the best match of the show by far. This one had constant action and kept everyone on the edge of their seats right up until the end. I feel that the W3 has big plans for the new Champion Artemis Jubblies and expect to see her hold on to the belt for long time. I enjoyed The Devil’s Triangle vs. The Legends match but with ALX done for a while and Buddy Hotpants heading back to the announce table it was a once and done thing and doesn’t have any real potential for a continuing storyline.
The main event match between Frankenpuss and Flex Manley for the ultimate title was really good also. I have to question the logic behind the exile stipulation though. With Manley out of the picture I’m wondering who the W3 plans on designating as the new number one contender. Johnny Satan and MITB winner OOG are the best possibilities unless The W3 plans on giving someone else a major push. The next two months are going to interesting to say the least. Overall I liked this pay per view and felt it was improvement over last month’s I’d give it an rating of 8 out of 10.

Other News - Following the PPV ALX announced he’s taking some time to devote to a public speaking and book signing tour. During a recent interview Gamma Granny stated she believes she has at least more good run left in her and plans on hanging around for a while. She also made some noise about reforming the League Squad. If you’re wondering where the hell Monkey Chan has been you’re not alone. The Master Of Chimp Fu seems to have just vanished. If Eep Eep had something to do it with it as I expect he did he’s not admitting to any wrong doing.
Sheik Yerbouti allegedly spotted Smoothupinya and Team Cookiepuss at one of his night clubs celebrating their victory at Three‘s A Crowd. This has led some questions of whether or not Smoothupinya is showing favoritism toward Cookiepuss and her team and whether or not he should replaced as the host of the Diva Challenge . Smoothupinya stated simply that Sheik Yerbouti should just mind his own business unless he wants to get bitch slapped.
During a recent W3 board meeting a few names of possible upcoming pay per views were discussed. Beat The Clock, Behind Bars, Get In The Ring Mother***, and my believe it or not Bash On The Beach which according to sources is already in the works.


Top Selling Items This Month In The Online Store
1. Flex Manley Stretch Armstrong
2. Amish DVD My Legendary Journey From Rumspringa To The W3
3. John L Skeleton Operation Board Game
4. Doctor Mutato’s Make Your Shrunken Head Kit (ages 12 and up)
5. The Legend Of Oompapa Mao Mao In Search Of The Oak Ride Monster DVD

Coming this Month
W3 Rumble and Brain Freeze 2 pack DVD
Limited Edition Gamma Granny Foam Finger ( available at live events only)

[jasonjaconetti]

Fucking awesome post! I love this fed!

[todd]

Apr 21, 2011 16:20:57 GMT -4 jasonjaconetti said:

Fucking awesome post! I love this fed!

Thanks I'm glad you're enjoying it

[todd]

W3 SUPERSTARS

The show starts off as a typical post pay per view cluster fuck with tons of wrestlers coming down to the ring laying claim to the number one contender spot. This all superseded with OOG announcing he’s cashing in his MITB contract at the upcoming pay per view Barely Legal. This settles the question of who will be filling the shoes of the exiled Flex Manley and is also a good way for the W3 to burn off the first ten minutes of tonight’s show.

OTHER STUFF

Starting off the action tonight we see a repackaged Oak Ridge Monster come down to the ring half naked carrying a trident and being introduced as King Neptune (Dicky Cravatte’s idea). All I have to say is that I’ve seen some dumb shit around here but this one really takes the cake, even his opponent Severe Wu Ping cant help get a laugh out of it. Neptune wins with something Undercover Alien calls a Kraken Buster which is you guessed it just another name for his Bobby Sue Buster.
Winner King Neptune (Oak Ridge Monster) via Kraken Buster DUD

- Undercover Alien fills in for the absent Diva challenge host Smoothupinya and introduces Eager Beaver (Team Cookiepuss) and Gumslinger (Team Sayanora). Eager Beaver redeems herself for her earlier loss in the Diva challenge by defeating the hands down favorite Gumslinger with BEAVER CLEAVER.
Winner Eager Beaver via BEAVER CLEAVER in 7:33**
My initial impression of Eager Beaver wasn’t very good. I was convinced she only made it the W3 because of her uncle Chief Jay Woodpecker but it looks like I could be mistaken

Diva Challenge Standings
Team Cookiepuss- 5
Team Sayonara - 2

- Next up The Magic Mushroom Shiitake Jr. takes on The Pug Buster Pillchard. Shiitake executes a few moves like Japanese arm drags and roundhouse kicks but nothing all that impressive. Pillchard on the other hand looks pretty sharp with moves like pug butt and pupperoni press. Pillchard finishes the job with perfectly timed and well executed running spear.
Winner Pillchard via Running Spear in 6:33 **
From what I’ve seen of Pillchard so far he seems like a solid wrestler who can win a match in a variety of different ways and I like that.

- Sheik Yerbouti puts on a great match and gets his first singles win in the W3 beating the Hell’s Mongol Sturgis Khan with a DISCO BALL DROP. Khan doesn’t appreciate the Sheik's post match celebration too much and attacks him from behind whipping him senseless with a biker chain.
Winner Sheik Yerbouti via Disco Ball Drop in 4:10 **1/2

- The main event of tonight’s show is a really good one between the Little Inquisitor Torquemada W/ Suzy Succubus vs. Cosmic Ray for the Beta Max Championship. Ray kicks out of a heart punch and reverses Torquemada’s Conversion Lock finisher twice before delivering HIT THE ROPES JACK ( rebound sleeper off the ropes) for the win
Winner Cosmic Ray via HIT THE ROPES JACK in 6:24 ***

Quick Results
King Neptune(Oak Ridge Monster) def Severe Wu Ping DUD
Eager Beaver def Gumslinger (Diva Challenge Match)**
Pillchard def Shiitake Jr. **
Sheik Yerbouti def Sturgis Khan**1/2
Cosmic Ray def Lil Torquemada ***

[wildfire]

Love the smark comments... very fun

Cosmic Ray is the man.. hope he has a nice long title run.

[todd]

W3 SUPERSTARS

Johnny Satan comes out at the top of the show challenging Gamma Granny to a main event no disqualification match. Granny has been a thorn in his side for decades and the loss at Three’s A Crowd was apparently the final straw for the lord of the flies. True to his character Satan picked a special day to get of the grizzled old boot once and for all MOTHER’S DAY !
Granny doesn’t let anyone down defeating Satan with a ONE FINGER PIN after taking some wild chair shots outside the ring.

OTHER STUFF

- Tonight’s opening match is a Diva Challenge match between Haiku Sayonara (Team Sayanora) and Beulah Gorillacutty (Team Cookiepuss). This is a good contest of power vs. agility with Sayanora getting a much needed win for her team with a triple jump moonsault
Winner Haiku Sayanora via Triple Jump Moonsault in 6:45**1/2
Looks like I spoke too soon after the match Diva challenge host Smoothupinya somehow overrules referee Blind Pew’s decision and awards the match via dusty finish to Beulah Gorillacutty.
Winner Beulah Gorillacutty via Dusty Finish in 6:45 ***

Diva Challenge Standings
Team Cookie puss - 6
Team Sayonara - 2

- With 10 being the magic number to win the Diva Challenge Team Cookiepuss thanks in part to Smoothupinya is starting to pull pretty far ahead and I’m not sure if they can catch up. I’m not sure who gave Smoothyupinya the authority to make rulings like this on matches but it sure seems there is definitely some favoritism going on here

- A loud stomping noise echoes throughout the arena followed by a message on the giant video screen saying coming soon to the W3. I’m not sure what this is about but I’ve heard some rumors that Phineas Phatback put out some serious money to sign a new superstar

- We get started again with a Mini Moto taking on Busta Capp. Moto does a number on Busta Capp with nerve holds and thrust kicks but Busta turns things around winning the match with a drive by dropkick off the top rope.
Winner Busta Capp via Driveby Dropkick in **1/2
Decent match over all it with a good finish. It was good to see the W3 decided to have Busta Capp break the losing streak. Maybe finally we’ll see The Ghetto Blasta get a way overdue title push. A ninja square off against a gang banger was a pretty cool idea

- In his first appearance since having his Octopus Hold broken by Gamma Granny Octopus Johnson defeats the Fighting Mad Hippie with a tentacle sleeper.
Winner Octopus Johnson in via Octopus Hold in 7:11 **

Quick Results
Beulah Goriilcutty def Haiku Sayonara **1/2
Busta Capp def Mini Moto via Driveby Dropkick **1/2
Octopus Johnson def Fighting Mad Hippie **
Gamma Granny def Johnny Satan ***1/2

[todd]

W3 SUPERSTARS

W3 Superstars General Manager Dickey Cravatte announces tonight’s main event will be a number one contenders triple threat match for the Beta Max Title between Busta Capp , Pillchard, and Octopus Johnson. The main event turns out to be a pretty solid match with Octopus Johnson taking down Busta Cap with a suction cup slam and going for the 3 count. Pillchard saves the day and puts Johnson out of commission with a Pupperoni Press over the top rope. Busta Capp and Pillchard go back and forth for the next few minutes until Busta delivers a DDT and a big GHETTO GUILOTINE for the win. Busta Capp will face Cosmic Ray for the Beta Max title at Barely Legal

Winner Busta Capp via GHETTO GUILLOTINE in 8:45 ***

OTHER STUFF

backstage video is shown of Johnny Satan beating Lil Torquemada around the locker room as punishment for not living up to his standards and performing poorly in the ring the past few weeks. In my opinion Satan has no right to talk after getting his ass kicked by Gamma Granny last week but that’s how it goes I guess.

Amish Robot vs. King Neptune (repackaged Oak Ridge Monster)
The Amish Robot kicks some butt here taking down Neptune with his new finisher a version of the 619 called the 814 (Lancaster Pa area code). Winner Amish Robot via 814 in 6:45 **
Amish Robot came out of the blue with this new move but liked it a lot

Lil Torquemada vs. Johnny Gizmo
Satan’s servant Lil Torquemada beats young Johnny Gizmo with two slingshot dropkicks to the face followed by CONVERSION LOCK.
Winner Lil Torquemada in 6:59 *½
This wasn’t a spectacular match by any means but it was interesting to see Torquemada who hasn’t really been showing us much lately get a win. Maybe the earlier beating did some good after all.

That same loud stomping as last week is heard over the sound system. It would nice if someone filled us in on what this is about

Artemis Jubblies vs. Mona Mammeries
Very good non title rematch from Three’s A Crowd with Mona powering out of a Olympia Full Nelson and getting the win with THANKS FOR THE MAMMERIES
Winner Mona Mammeries via THANKS FOR THE MAMMERIES in 6:00***
Earlier this week the W3 placed Thunderball on the disabled list due to ongoing problems with geriatric diabetes so that would have left Mona as the number one contender to the W3 Ladies title even without the win here. I guess you could consider this match a warm up to the next pay per view Barely Legal

Quick Results
Amish Robot def King Neptune
Lil Torquemada def Johnny Gizmo
Mona Mammeries def Artemis Jubblies (non title)
Busta Capp def Pillchard and Octopus Johnson (Beta Max Number One Contender Triple Threat Match)

[jasonjaconetti]

Looking forward to Barely Legal. Love the W3 action.