So let's see: Better Than Ezra here so far has an amazing hot
girlfriend, a super fast (and presumably very expensive) car and a
job where he makes six figures and has people who under him, whom he
subsequently keeps fat and happy with doughnuts. In addition, he is a
paragon of personal health and fitness.
I think I know some other things about our elusive Guest: he is a Jedi
Master that can also delight children with tricks of magic and
illusion. He is a war veteran, having been wounded several times; he
survived only due to his advanced healing factor. He is able to leap
small buildings in a single bound, able to command the dead to rise
(although they are still dead; our fearless friend still has yet to
conquer resurrection (gotta have goals, right?)), and lives in a de-
luxe apartment in the sky- hi- hi. A noble soul, he has been knighted
and nominated for sainthood. He has a classic singing voice, and is
well received in countries all over the world for his cool crooning.
He has been an ambassador of peace to war- torn countries, especially
Afghanistan, and Serbia. He is well known in the field of cancer
research, and is also recognized for his development of cutting edge
computer software. He is a retired professional athlete, having grown
long past the challenges of the NFL, NBA, and MLS. He is an architect
of beautiful artistic masterpieces and fine cuisine. He is
multilingual, specialist in Swahili, Klingon, and High Elvish. He rubs
elbows with top stars in Hollywood and world politicians. In fact many
of the documents set to be released by Wikileaks are actually about
him and his exploits. He is a bullfighter, a day trader, and literary
genius. He has declined, several times in fact, offers for movies and
television shows to be made about his life. All this, and he still has
time to make sure the plebs on an internet message board about a dice
and card wrestling game are put in their proper place.
I am sure I am forgetting some things, but think I got most of it.