4-23-09
Memorial Hall
Kansas City, KS (Eddie Stewart is ringside with a mic in hand.)
Stewart: Hello and welcome to another night of Heart of America Wrestling. I’m your host for the evening, Eddie Stewart and, tonight, we will get to see some new faces in Heart of America. Those faces include …
(Stewart is interrupted by a familiar German military anthem. Karl Steiner leads the Von Stiegers to the ringside area.)
And what do we owe this dubious honor?
Steiner: Silence, you pissant. Toru Tanaka, you think you have a brilliant strategic mind? You are a foolish individual. Only one man can lead an army to take over Heart of America and that man is me.
Stewart: It sounds like Heart of America is not going to be big enough to contain both of you.
Steiner: That is the smartest thing you’ve said since I’ve declared my intentions of dominating Heart of America. That is why, later tonight, we will settle this war, once and for all. If my German Army defeats Team Japan, Toru Tanaka will have to leave the Heart of America forever and I will finally be allowed to complete my total domination.
Stewart: What if Team Japan wins?
Steiner: That will not happen.
Stewart: Why don’t you humor me?
Steiner: I find no humor in losing, but if I must. If, by some act of God, Team Japan is victorious, I will admit defeat and leave Heart of America.
Stewart: It sounds like you need to get some strategy together so let’s head to the ring and get our matches underway.
Akeem (w/Slick) vs. Trenton James (local)Akeem pinned James with AIR AFRICA.
Moondogs (Rex & Spot) vs. Big Daddy M & Toxic Toast (local)Spot pinned Big Daddy after a SMASH WITH BONE.
(The Kansas Jayhawks are in the ring.)
Bobby Jaggers: Dutch, lemme tell ya sumthin ... I thought I knew Sawyer, but d**n!!!! I just don't even know what to do ...
Dutch Mantell: Now dammit Bobby, ya gotta get yer head in the game!!! Whatcha worried about?? We ain't no girlie men, just gonna roll over and lay down for ... OK, bad choice'a words ... I meant it's not like we're just gonna turn tail and ... um, damn, not that either ...
Jaggers: OK, now just quit!!! Dang Dutch, who the heck was he talking to on that call?? It can’t be good. It was a damned Blackberry for crying out loud!!!! We need to get training. You know the Lone Ranger and Tonto are gonna be ready!!
Mantell: Yeah, i am sure they are always UP for a challenge ...
Jaggers: Dammit, that's enough!!! How am I supposed to get focused for this match coming up? I traveled this country with him and can't believe that he's ... you know ... umm ...
Mantell: Riding shotgun in the Homo Hummer?? Raising the standard of the Rainbow Renegades?? Leading the hike up Sunshine Brokeback Mountain???
Jaggers: OK, OK, OK, c'mon, I need to get focused …
Iceberg (w/Slick) vs. Bobby Jaggers (w/Dutch Mantel)Iceberg missed an EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT early and it seemed to knock the wind out of his sails. Jaggers capitalized and got Iceberg with two HANGMAN’S SPECIALS but Slick saw to it Jaggers didn’t get the victory. After Slick’s interference, Iceberg regained the advantage. The match went back and forth then Iceberg missed a second EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT. Jaggers still couldn’t put Iceberg away. The action spilled outside where Iceberg nailed Jaggers with a DDT on the concrete floor. Iceberg rolled Jaggers back into the ring and pinned Jaggers with the Ground Zero Splash. After the match, Akeem came to the ring and helped Iceberg attack Jaggers. Slick clobbered Mantel with his cane. Akeem and Iceberg delivered double avalanches to Jaggers then Akeem held Jaggers as Iceberg delivered an EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT. Officials as well as medical staff rushed to the ring to tend to both Mantel and Jaggers.
Southern Rockers (Rex King & Steve Doll) vs. Cyclon Negro & Cuban Assassin (w/Angelo Poffo)This was a brutal match that took place outside the ring as much as it did inside. Both teams battled back and forth then the ref got in the way and went down. King tried to pin Assassin but with no ref, nothing happened. A frustrated King tried to revive the ref. While King helped the ref, Poffo slipped something to Assassin and Assassin nailed King with it. It was undetected by the ref and Assassin attempted a pin. King kicked out at two and a half. Assassin attempted to use the object again but the ref caught him this time and called for the disqualification. After the match, both teams brawled all the way back to the dressing room.
(Sgt. Craig Pittman and Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker join Eddie Stewart at ringside)
Stewart: I’m proud to introduce a new team here in Heart of America, Sgt. Craig Pittman and Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker. Gentlemen, I understand you have something to say.
Pittman: You bet we do. I have stood in the back week after week and listened to the Axis Powers run down this great country of ours. I took a little solace in their implosion over the last couple of weeks but once that little battle is over, whoever is left standing will begin to run down the U.S.A. I’m not going to stand for it any longer. And now that I have a little help from a man that gets where I’m coming from, Old Glory will be defended with the strength and honor she deserves.
Parker: I saw what was going on here in Heart of America and I was beside myself. How Steiner, Tanaka and the rest, tore down the U.S.A was absolutely deplorable. It is now my personal mission to make sure that doesn’t happen again.
Pittman: We are citizens.
Parker: We are soldiers.
Pittman and Parker: We are Citizen Soldiers.
Stewart: It looks like the U.S.A. has a new defender and they are the Citizen Soldiers.
Boogeyman (w/Slick) vs. George “The Animal” SteeleThe action quickly spilled outside the ring and both men were counted out.
Bushwackers (Luke & Butch) vs. Samoan Island Tribe (Samu & Alofa)Somehow the ref got in the middle of the match shortly after it began and went down. Luke helped him to his feet and Samu rolled up Luke for the quick pin.
German Army (Karl Steiner, Kurt & Karl Von Stieger) vs. Team Japan (Toru Tanaka, Kenzo Suzuki & The Cobra w/Magnum Tokyo)This was a grueling match with several near falls. Suzuki rushed into his opponent’s corner. Karl moved and Steiner nailed Suzuki with a roll of German coins, out of the ref’s view. Suzuki went down and Karl quickly rolled him up.
(Eddie Stewart is at ringside with a mic.)
Stewart: Before our main event, I have an important announcement to make. Heart of America Wrestling has bought the St. Louis Wrestling Club from Sam Muchnick, and will begin promoting in the St. Louis area. In addition, we will also begin promoting in Nebraska and Iowa. I am also happy to announce that Heart of America will continue producing Wrestling at the Chase, which is an institution in St. Louis. Plus, we will be syndicating the show all over the territory. Then, starting in May, Heart of America Wrestling will present a supershow on the third Saturday of every month from an arena within the territory. So, we thank the fans for their continued support and vow to continue to bring them the great action they’ve come to expect from Heart of America.
AWA U.S. Heavyweight Title Match
Pat O’Connor vs. “Bruiser” Bob Sweetan (w/Angelo Poffo) vs. AWA U.S. Heavyweight Champion Bob BacklundAll three men fight back and forth and the action ends up on the outside. Backlund whipped O’Connor into the ring post outside the ring. The ref warned Backlund to get the action back in the ring but Backlund continued his assault outside the ring and the ref called for the bell, disqualifying Backlund.